It happened to me: Systemic Racism in the Work Place

Let me share with you a true story of an assault on my dignity in the work-place that just about broke me emotionally and pretty much sent me into a state of depression that I had never experienced.

After having been a case manager for about 10 years, I applied and was hired in Feb 2014 to work in “Central Office” in a certain unit. I can recall the interview questions being weird, uncomfortable and not really having anything to do with the position, but I got the Job, so hey, whatevs, right? I remember being excited on my first day but by days end I knew something was wrong with the environment I had just entered, especially when the team that hired me never came over to welcome me, and never  introduced me to my coworkers. 

What I had initially thought was a position where I could learn and grow, ended up being nothing but data entry. I was paid more, but it was definitely a demotion in responsibility. A veteran  department employee had told me early on that I wasn’t hired because of my abilities, or my intelligence, but because the hiring director of the unit at the time had complaints of racism against her. I heard that complaint over and over, and chalked it up to people being bitter so I didn't want to believe this information.  I didn’t need anyone to just give me anything.

Strangely enough without warning, the hiring director had given her notice and left her position about 3 days after I was brought on board.  I remember listening to her farewell speech at her farewell gathering.  I sat in the back of the room and listened as she doted upon the 3 women who she described as women whom she was honored to mentor, that they reminded her of herself. Those 3 have long since moved onward and upward.  I, in contrast would remain stagnant and purposefully ignored for 4 years. It had become painfully obvious to me that what I was told by that veteran department employee was true.  They wanted to create the ILLUSION of diversity, but never intended to INCLUDE me and the racially biased culture of this unit continued with the remaining managers and Exec staff.

  

I took a chance went to the Assistant Director and told him that I was really bored and if there was anything I could learn or assist with. After the second time I asked, he became visibly upset with me and said, “It is what it is!”.  At the same time I began to notice that people who were mediocre in comparison to me were being groomed and became supervisors.  The grooming of people that matched what they thought could become leaders and none of them looked like me.  I watched them form good relationships with them. They went to their weddings and baby showers, but would not  say good morning to me. 

I was becoming desperate and had to think of creative ways to move on.  The longer I sat in that chair, the less skills I would develop. My fear was that it would become increasingly unlikely that I would  move on, and nobody would see any value in me.  I would have nothing to offer and the thought of that tore me up inside and remembering how I felt still makes me sad.   There were times I would go into the lobby of our building and cry silently and wipe tears from my eyes.  I didn’t care who saw, because nobody gave a damn that I wasn’t at my desk. I was beginning to suffer physically (this was the beginning of my sleep issues) and emotionally to the point where I started not even showing up at least 2 days out of 5, and felt like I was literally dying. 

But because of my resilience, tenacity and my ability to be successful in the face of adversity, I decided to start walking around the office asking people what it was that they did and if I could contribute.  I was literally BEGGING to be apart of something.  My persistence paid off and finally ONE person used her position to do something to help, and with the permission of the COO  she decided to take a chance on me and allowed me to assist with 6 month audit project. Because it was so successful,  not only was I given permission to transfer to the unit, in Oct 2018, but I was promoted in title and pay in a year!  But it took over 4 years for this to come together. 

There are so many of you reading this are in the position to help someone and to make a difference!!  

Think about how many people like myself who are intelligent, self-motivated, creative and natural born leaders were cut off at the knees because of their skin, because it is assumed they are difficult or not smart.  Think about how their growth has been stunted because they didn’t “fit the description” of someone who is deserving in the eyes of people who have an internal bias or who subscribe in the belief that white skin equals better quality? 

This is my story, this was "a knee in my neck"... it happened to me.

If you aren't a racist, why align yourself with one?

"I'm not a racist, but I support Trump because look at what he's done for the economy, look at what he's done for black people".  I'm sure you've heard those sentences verbatim. Don't expect them to offer any real examples and will stand by "He's President therefore great things started happening".

It may be true that not all Trump supporters subscribe to blatant racism, however, why do they feel comfortable aligning themselves with people and groups who have no problem attaching themselves to Trump because of  his subscription to racist beliefs?

His aggression towards women, especially women of color, and Latinos doesn't seem to be a deal breaker for them, and they will even claim "I just don't see it".  Because he gaslights, he speaks in code and dog whistles so people who don't feel comfortable with blatant racism ( ex: "I hate these niggers") will be comfortable in their own racial biases.  Unfortunately many people don't really understand the meaning of the word racism, and believe as long as someone isn't using blatant racist terms, then racism can't be proven.   But proof is in actions and inaction.  Describing people with darker skin as people that come from "Shithole countries" are "Animals" and "Rapist", all terms used to describe people of color by people who believe their white skin is superior.

Our country is divided along party lines more now than ever before, but you will rarely hear or see me use terms such as "Liberal" "Conservative" "Democrat" or "Republican" because none of these labels make you who you are at your core however I do believe policies are born out of "The human condition". This is described as "all of the characteristics and key events that compose the essentials of human existence". Where and how we are raised, how we grow,  our experiences and also how we go about preserving power, shape our policies and our feelings about politics.  America has gradually realized certain policies were inhumane, but much of America still holds on to the ingrained belief that others are undeserving of the basics of humanity. Just because a new law or policy says it's wrong doesn't mean everybody believes that in their hearts.

Many people will say conservatives own most of the racism or are racist, however there are also plenty of people who define themselves as "Liberals" that will NOT commit to being anti-racist and will continue to turn a blind eye to racist culture and systems that are designed to perpetuate stereotypes and certain ideologies.  Racism is still practiced is in our biased policies, our educational system, our hiring practices our housing and in Health industries all by everyday people like us.  We have colleagues who make comments and remarks regarding Black people or other POC, and these very same people are in positions that our lives depend on, yet our "allies" just "ignore them" and pretend as if their biases wont make a difference in how they do their jobs. But it does, and that's why we keep repeating the experience of social unrest as a result of this type of racism.

If that is you turning a blind eye, or saying you don't have time to fight this cause, then you too are responsible for perpetuating racism. Silence is violence.... ask yourself are you really an ally of anti-racism or in allegiance with the culture of racism?

"Well look at Chicago!!"

We all read the news about inner city violence. Do you believe that violence an inherently black and brown problem? One answer is this, residential segregation, poverty, food insecurity, inadequate housing, unequal education, breeds violence and violence continues to breed poverty. It’s a hopeless cycle. Impoverished neighborhoods are BY DESIGN. Segregation was a tool used to make it easier to concentrate and isolate communities of black and brown people. What happens when communities are isolated? In addition to education inequities there is economic disinvestment. Food insecurity (being without access to a sufficient quantity of affordable, nutritious food). Health disparities. The psychological effects are Low self-worth, devaluation of life, mental health issues, using drugs as a way of coping to name a few. This isn’t an issue for just for black people, this is what happens to humans in these circumstances. Segregation exacerbated these issues for select groups of people. So you might say, well segregation ended (Y’all’s free..again). “why don’t they just leave these neighborhoods” (but it might make you uncomfortable if too many come to yours). Well residential segregation never ended. Residential segregation impedes access to middle-class neighborhoods with strong schools. Higher levels of education and which can typically lead to higher income, translates into access to neighborhoods with many opportunities and the possibility of accumulating wealth. If you aren’t given access to a neighborhood with a strong school system, you are more likely to experience educational inequities, and thus the cycle continues.

Have you ever heard of “Redlining”? It was a practice where lenders would refuse a loan to someone because they live in an area deemed to be a poor financial risk. This was a practice where mortgage lenders that would draw red lines on a map to indicate areas or neighborhoods in which they don’t want to make loans (usually areas where Blacks Latinos and other people of color live). Redlining was made illegal in the 1970’s but in order to make things a little harder, a person could be offered a Subprime loan, often given to people who have low credit ratings or are PERCEIVED as likely to default on a loan.  Wells Fargo was involved in this practice all the way up until 2012! This is just one example of how to keep groups of people confined to a particular neighborhood.

If you have any continued interest into learning more check these out:

PBS documentaries "Decade of Fire"  and "East Lake Meadows"

and these links that give information about public housing:

https://heathersquire.com/2019/03/01/10-films-to-help-you-wrap-your-head-around-the-housing-crisis/

https://www.citylab.com/equity/2018/03/the-rise-and-fall-of-american-public-housing/554597/

Systemic Racism: The original knee in the neck

Many of you have reached out to me and have invited conversation about current events.  I know people struggle with knowing what to say, but wanna say something. I appreciate you acknowledging that we have a problem and some of you have even said that you wanna do better and do the work within yourselves and take action and have asked “What can I do”. I'm glad you are  willing to be uncomfortable. I know we aren’t sure exactly how to go about it.  Acknowledging that your skin color has provided you the privilege not to experience structural racism (sometimes referred to as systemic racism) is the first step. Learning exactly what structural racism is and the endless examples is another.

I understand that there are many other people of color and cultures  who have experienced “-isms” in the world, but today I’m talking about the continued traumas Black people have faced here in America. Watching Ahmaud Aubrey be shot to death jogging, was traumatic, watching the video of 12 year old Tamar Rice be shot to death because he was playing with his toy gun in the park was traumatic, and the list goes on.  We, as a nation, watched George Floyds neck be kneeled on by an officer for 10 minutes until he took his last breath. 

What you watched is very representative of Black experience at the hands of structural racism. What are we as a nation doing to take the knee of systemic racism out of the neck of Black America?This knee comes in the form of hiring practices, housing discrimination, predatory lending practices, inequities in health care, and media representations, and everyday microaggressions and sometimes blatant attacks on your dignity. 

"Now you may say, well we have laws to prevent this (overt racism) from happening" but America has had a long history on how to circumvent the laws to continue to perpetuate a racist system.   Minimizing, disregarding or downplaying the experiences of Black people by saying things to your black friends like “but yeah, all lives matter” or “ Yes, but the Irish were slaves to (so get over it)” or “I’m colorblind” and “why is it always about race” or “look, reverse racism has happened to me too” is not helpful it’s dismissive and it shuts down any meaningful conversation that will bring about change.

I have had so many experiences that have made me feel, excluded, unattractive, stupid, fetishized, ashamed, and just not belonging. I’ve had the police called on me when I was standing my ground with assertion yet was only seen an angry aggressive black woman. I’ve experienced people who I had considered friends to be dismissive when I’ve shared my experiences, but I’ve also had beautiful productive conversations about race with my closest friends who aren’t black.  I would like for these kinds of conversations to continue to empower allies and encourage those who have the power to do something, come up with ways to mobilize for change.